The Boardroom Beat - Boundaries: Three Things to Know

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Establishing clear boundaries helps to align priorities and bandwidth with personal values. Ironically, boundaries can sometimes become a source of the very stress they are meant to alleviate. To avoid this, boundaries should be:
•    Personal
•    Flexible
•    Multi-directional

Boundaries are Personal

Many clients seek “more life balance.” In partnership, we explore what balance truly means, as it is as unique as a thumbprint—no assumptions, no prescriptive “rules.”

Let’s take a 40-hour workweek as an example. For some, achieving a reduction in hours may be a high-priority goal. Others might prioritize flexibility, opting to work more intensively during some weeks and less during others. Some may designate a weekend day for focused, serene “catch-up” time, knowing the resulting sense of peace and accomplishment will outweigh the extra hours.

What about working from home at night? Some clients find that preparing for the next day in the evening is calming. Others may struggle with increased anxiety, becoming overly entrenched in workplace concerns. Others set firm personal boundaries, guarding their personal time and clearly communicating to colleagues what constitutes an “emergency.”

This is one of the easiest coaching topics to diagnose, yet one of the most challenging to address. Clients are often hyper-aware of the changes they want—more time with family, the ability to disconnect from work, physical exercise, or more sleep. The challenge lies in layering attitudinal shifts with actionable steps. Achieving balance often requires reframing priorities and complementing this with practical measures such as delegation, training backups, or level setting expectations.
                

Boundaries are Flexible

Boundaries are established to honor values by guiding decisions about bandwidth and relationships. Recognizing that boundaries are personal and accepting their flexibility empowers more discerning and adaptable choices. I have observed professionals experience significant stress when they perceive themselves as "failing" to adhere to rigid, self-imposed boundaries.

I recently mentored an early-career professional who chose to take on an additional research project, which her manager later presented to high-level leadership on her behalf. She was comfortable dedicating the extra time, confident that the learning experience would be valuable and hopeful it would also lead to visibility. She achieved both. Her work caught the attention of a company SVP, who invited her to participate in follow-up strategy meetings related to the project.

This is not a blanket endorsement for all early-career professionals to work unpaid overtime. In this case, the individual had the time, understood that the primary reward might be the intrinsic learning, and was fortunate to receive additional recognition. She discerned a situational boundary that prioritized learning while also gaining leadership visibility.

Boundary flexibility can extend beyond individual situations to life seasons. For example, an executive client recently celebrated a boundary decision she made by rescheduling a client meeting to attend an event important to her daughter, a senior in high school. She recognized that this season of her daughter's life—still at home—is now measured in days, not years.

As a parent of three children now aged 30, 27, and 24, I’ve had the opportunity to guide many Millennials and Zoomers through their early professional journeys. While I deeply respect their commitment to purpose and their natural inclination toward maintaining boundaries, which seems more ingrained in this demographic, I also hold some Boomer-esque ideas about the boundaries appropriate for this season of their lives.

For example, when a mentee expressed concern about accepting a lucrative offer from a prestigious company due to its culture of long hours and grueling work in the trenches for the first two years, my instinctual Boomer response was, “What else do you have to do at this season of life? No kids, no other major obligations. Pay your dues, work your uh-hum off for two years, and set yourself up for success.”

I didn’t overtly share my Boomer-esque opinion but instead guided him with questions. He ultimately accepted the role, worked as long and hard as expected, and is glad he did. It didn’t kill him, and it positioned him well for what’s next.

Boundaries are Multi-directional

We have examined the fallacy that boundaries are prescriptive, when in fact they should be personal, and the misconception that they are rigid, when they should instead be flexible, adapting to situations and life seasons. Another common misunderstanding is that boundaries are solely about the self. This is a narrow perspective; personal growth flourishes when we expand our awareness to include the boundaries of others within our circles.

Leaders, managers, and mentors wield influence that creates ripples. Not only are they well-positioned to model healthy boundaries, but their demonstration of respect for others' boundaries also encourages those they influence to make personal and flexible decisions aligned with their own priorities.

Why Boundaries Matter

More than 80% of my client engagements include objectives related to life balance and wellness—goals fundamentally dependent on establishing boundaries. World-class organizations recognize the connection between employee wellness and marketplace performance. Employees with healthy boundaries are not just happier; they’re good for business.

A C-suite executive who understood the critical relationship between wellness and performance recently sponsored my engagement to coach his team specifically on boundaries and balance. The directive was to guide each team member in exploring their personal state of balance and wellness through a lens that is:
•    Personal
•    Flexible
•    Bi-Directional

It’s okay to redraw boundaries to meet the demands of a situation or to adjust them during different seasons of life. The question is not whether a boundary decision is right or wrong but rather:
•    Does it align with your values?
•    Is it sustainable?

If depleted wellness is prolonged, both motivation and performance will inevitably suffer. The aforementioned savvy executive recognized the importance of “Why Boundaries Matter” and invested in personalized coaching for each member of his team, guiding them through a deep dive into their own boundaries and balance.

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