Boardroom Beat #26 - Stop Being Nice

The CEO of a top digital strategy firm emphasized this call to action to his team in a vision session for 2024;  “Balance kindness with more accountability!” This article’s call to contemplation suggests that by distinguishing between “nice” and “kind” accountability and kindness may symbiotically co-exist. Without compromising business results kindness may show up in;

• Performance Management,
• Authentic Communication,
• Culture.

"Nice" and "Kind" Are Not Synonyms 

Nice: The state of being polite and agreeable that meets expectations as an appropriate form of social conditioning. Being nice may entail making a more comfortable choice, it may be superficial, it may even be self-serving.

Kind: A state rooted in compassion and generosity with awareness of the greater good and the intention of a positive outcome for others. Kind may not be comfortable; It encompasses a more holistic perspective and timeline.

Big Idea: Being kind does not always mean being nice - it won’t always be pleasing to the other person. Conversely, in many situations being nice is not necessarily kind.

Kind Performance Management

In the face of a worldwide pandemic Performance Management play books were discarded. In March 2020 Facebook announced that all 45,000 employees would receive the same "exceeds expectations" performance review rating for the first two quarters. Some companies canceled their next review cycle, while many recalibrated performance measures and bonus structures.  Explorations of a “new normal” percolated in 2022 and May 2023 marked the official end of the federal COVID-19 Public Health Emergency declaration. 

Leaders teeter precariously between the recency bias of COVID adaptations and the necessity bias of succeeding in a downturned economy.  Almost four years ago companies dialed up grace on deadlines, schedule flexibility, and personal wellness. Now many leaders feel handicapped in taking actions that prioritize clients, ensure profitability, and equalize fair treatment of all employees. While managing those who entered the workforce 2020 and beyond magnifies challenge, it exists across management of all levels of seniority.

Kind Authenticity

Expectations may again be more rigorous, but a constant through all eras is kindness via communication clarity. Tough conversations about performance enable course correction before it is too late. Being “nice” via avoidance may be more comfortable in the short term, but it won’t change status quo. And status quo may result in a toughER decision if an employee’s performance is unsustainable for the business. Tough conversations are kind when they provide a roadmap to success and a pledge of support. 

Still, sometimes it doesn’t work out. What worked for an employee during COVID business protocols may not work for them now. Though delivering bad news to someone may feel anything but kind in the short term, the benefit for all is beyond the moment. Treated with grace, supported in transition, and empowered with choice, an employee may seek a role that is fully remote…..or one that requires less travel…..or  compensation that is not bonus based, or something completely new that energizes them.

Kind Culture

Remembering that kindness is others focused, realize that “others” casts a wide net. Leaders are called to make decisions that best serve colleagues, customers, and ultimately all stakeholders via the sustainability of the company.

A holdover from COVID culture is an abundance of grace for extended time off. Some companies have even formalized unlimited PTO policies. (By the way, I am a huge fan, data supports the business case.) What data does not support is the anomaly of an employee whose time off exceeds norm, and is not well-planned. When kindness is part of cultural DNA then each member of the team plans time off with consideration for the additional burden on colleagues and the needs of clients. If responsibilities over time are not balanced by equitable “give and take,” kindness calls upon a leader to address the bigger picture.  Resolution may not be “nice” to the individual. “Kind” is doing what is beneficial in the long term for the greater good.

A kind culture provides clear communication of expectations and support to meet and exceed the expectations. A kind culture understands that all situations are unique. Support may come in the form of an extension of grace or special accommodations for a period of time based on circumstances.